delusionised-

2011-06-09T16:02:00.001+08:00

2010-04-12T12:35:00.003+08:00

the weather is such a killer, it's so cranky it's making me cranky too. stayed home today got the monday blues, oh mondays are so stupid. season's coming and i;ve got this horrible horrible flu big haunting me, piles and piles of material to catch up. my life is insane yet so mundane.

ughhh school.

2010-04-08T21:33:00.001+08:00

Now, tis swell

she is so beautiful

and he is a complete arse

2010-04-08T00:22:00.000+08:00

2010-04-08T00:16:00.003+08:00

Momento Mori

well, do we really?

2010-04-04T12:02:00.001+08:00

2010-04-02T19:26:00.000+08:00

completely thought provoking

2010-03-29T22:56:00.003+08:00

THE BOOMZ OR SHINGZ GAME ON THE SHAN, ROSS AND RIS SHOW

ross: tiger woods

ris: boomz

ross/shan: why?

ris: he hamsum

ross: what about xiaxue?

ris: shingz

ross: why why?

ris: her engagement ring bigger than mine

ross: oh! ris you're engaged?!

ris: no

EPICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

shingz luh you ris.

2010-03-25T21:53:00.002+08:00

2010-03-24T21:41:00.004+08:00

I was seventeen and young

Mornings after, still lingers, i see the shadow of you

Tell me how to deal

if i'm laughing appropriately, when i laugh i think of you up above wondering if you're angry and jealous that you that i'm so happy

Tell me how to deal

if i'm mourning appropriately, when i'm sad and filled with sorrow, is that what you want of me, should i be feeling this way and affect the mood of the people around me?

I should just stay grounded and keep you in my heart.

2010-03-21T22:15:00.002+08:00

You'll always be with us, in our hearts.

The Memory.

Of paper guns and paper toys

Of silence and laughter

Of teeth picking and dentures

Of white cotton shirt and stripey pants

Of butter and bread

Of darlie toothpaste

Of squatting and drawers

Of wheelchair and silent late years

Of skin and blood

Of Andrew and Micheal

Of the rabbit i refuse to throw

Of thin and tall

Of life drama

Of a love so strong it makes me cry.

2010-03-21T22:10:00.002+08:00

Where are you now, burning, burning, burning

2010-03-18T10:53:00.002+08:00

who said big girls dont cry

it hasn't quite sunk in yet

but i never been so sad

the image of him lying so still, mouth open, eyes awaiting; it replays in my head and yes, the big fat tears drop.

i think of grandma and the empty bed beside her, the big fat tears drop

i think of aunt and how she comforts everyone and at the end she wimpers like a child, my heart breaks into many gazillion pieces and i wish i could do something more

i think of the men and how their big fat tears drop, i do the same

i hear the songs and they all seem to shuffle hope faith god another world condolence and i look around seeing stop sleeping and everything seems to revolve around that one matter

i wish i wont cry

i wish i'd be better

i wish everyone would be better

2010-03-14T23:52:00.000+08:00

life sucks, what's new

2010-03-12T00:00:00.001+08:00

yeah we completely do

how's cts? i'm so tired i don't even wanna talk about it.

i'm done.

cause we've only got 86400 seconds a day.

2010-03-11T13:25:00.000+08:00

MATH WAS A COMPLETE KILLER

2010-03-09T12:03:00.002+08:00

when you're ten thousand miles away

happiness, when it's tenthousand miles away,

it'll find you back in eighty days, like a boomerang

2010-03-07T16:46:00.004+08:00

I'M FEELING SO UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH RIGHT NOW.

come on skies, look at me. bring me some rain;

to wash my oily hair.

to destruct the stressed syllables that flow out of my mouth.

to untangle the tight nerves that are pulling me down.

to camouflage the tears that are collecting in my eyes.

to bring the winter, to my discontent

to arrive the dances that have me prancing

oh, rain, rain, rain.

cure the brokenhearted

2010-03-06T15:54:00.000+08:00

IM SO IN LOVE WITH BEING STUPID

there are a million and one things that i should be thinking about and working towards

not much right now have been working out for me and im not sure how fate's going to play me this time. i keep thinking back to how i was once young and ignorant and everything seem so fine. i didnt know what was good and what was bad, i didnt have that pressure to achieve, i didnt have to keep on going on and on about what i want, i didnt have to worry that it wouldnt happen

WHY THE HELL AM I STILL HERE.

2010-03-06T14:12:00.000+08:00

GET OUT OF THIS SHIT

AND START STUDYING TO SCREW THAT CT OVER.

2010-03-02T23:54:00.004+08:00

hang in there baby

there's a whole lotta things waiting for you out there

don't plop down, die and give up

cause you could be a doctor a lawyer a teacher an artist a designer a musician a sportsman a dancer

"baby baby baby nooo i'm like"

shaf's got the song stuck in my head

2010-02-28T13:22:00.003+08:00

D was yesterday's alphabet
S is today's. But not quite successfully.

2010-02-25T22:06:00.002+08:00

Caw-caw, rawwwr!

why he so kute :)

2010-02-25T22:00:00.002+08:00

"Whatever path you take in this life, be true to yourself."

— Yu Shu Lien, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

well, i found this rather amusing

2010-02-25T17:53:00.001+08:00

it feels really good to be able to finally use the internet without restrictions. the king still hasnt lifted any of the curses on the virtual world and now that he's gone overseas i'll be waiting till nine to see if he has taken my proposal into any account. i'm betting not right now.

x-country tomorrow and my heart and stomach, ultimate jitters. on the bright side, the last day of school (of the week) has ended and though relived, so many thinking questions have penetrated my brain, it's been working the whole time i was on the bus back home.

i wonder how i'm actually faring in terms of everything. my work my life my social circle my family my attitude my whatever. it seems like everything is scheduled fine and okay, but coming to think of it, it's thrown out of balance and i wish i had more time. pigs are taking over the world and the hands on the clock are just zooming like pigs. A's results out next week and in one year's time that'd be me, listening to chanster talking in his gay voice and sitting on the blade-scratched hall floor. i bet i'd be crying my heart out, worried and completely emotional. i don't wanna wish for anything yet, cause everyone hopes the same, i dont need to type it down. I'm 36weeks away from the scary thing and it seems that i'm not the least bit ready for it. regrets and many regrets, but time waits for no man. it hasnt quite sunk in deep enough yet, but i'm trying. i'm aiming that the incoming hurdle, i'll be able to jump pass it.

Next stop, happiness?

I wanna watch episode 20 nowwwww

2010-02-21T16:38:00.002+08:00

RESOLVE

With your own hands,

soar like the eagle.

2010-02-18T00:39:00.001+08:00

FUCKTARD

FATHER, I DO NOT WANT TO BE RELATED TO YOU IN MY NEXT LIFE

2010-02-16T21:29:00.000+08:00

WE'RE TIGHT

I LOVE YOU ALL

2010-02-14T16:54:00.002+08:00

SEE, WHO'S THAT ROCKIN CHICK

HAPPY VALENTINE'S Y

2010-02-13T23:37:00.001+08:00

his songs are always so....

2010-02-11T20:11:00.003+08:00

it's nice slumping in a big grey chair

i am so tiredddddd. today was fun, at most parts(:

i got less than 2hours of sleep last night doing all vday stuff, complexion and everything damn shitty

i dunno if i should cut my nails or mask my face. cny coming why so lydattt

ablackdiamond just cut my 3orders down to 1 and i really liked the shorts, hello backorder leh. yourfault yourfault know.

my body degenerating now. seriously

phelgm and everything thats stuck in your nose stinks.

skipping grandma goh's pe is ohsofine, i like, 8 periods straight free wasting time damn easy

sang with pgls, i love them more than words(: celebrated cheryl's birthday chatted damn long found out about weird guys and my junior class seriously damn nice/cute/funny:)))))

joy of giving, i really do feel joy. though i dont know what happened to the rest of my flowers but hopefully they ended up where they're supposed to go (:

went out with jiamin and papermarket is just awesomeawesome.

from now: control diet, and i need to get my chic.

2010-02-09T23:46:00.001+08:00

It's the age of deception

the people of earth, all made up of different colours

it's a tragedy to realize, we don't make up rainbows.

2010-02-08T22:42:00.004+08:00

my eyelids are forcing shut.

i felt lazy i didn't go for tuition. i feel a little bit bad, i skipped last week's one too. oh wells, it's rather weird for me today anyway.

i hate how some people can be so disgusting, and still get away with it; acting as if the world is theirs.

i detest the empty blue slip that should've had my name written on it.

i detest the inventor of standing broad jump

2010-02-07T11:44:00.002+08:00

ORIENTATION WAS EVERYTHING FUN

it's a good thing i'm crazy (:

well, that's the end, folks. it's time to get back on track and delve into the sinister academic year, where it'll probably eat you up till you turn thin like a bamboo. well, i wish, let's not hope for the opposite.

first it was the voice, then it was the throat, then it was the head, now it's the nose. and the stinky tongue too. it sucks waiting to recover. it sucks being unwell. it sucks thinking i haven't exercised in a million years. it sucks thinking that i'm eating so much, lots of input, no output.

but it rocks feeling lazy, and watching night and day roll.

flipsides and between the lines, there's always more to everything.

i'm staying tuned to see how my year can get exciting.

2010-02-04T22:32:00.004+08:00

OKAY I SHOULD JUST STOP BEING HERE ON VIRTUAL INSANITY

I SHOULD SERIOUSLY START ON MY LIT ESSAY AND GET ON TO BED

I HAVE TO WAKE UP WICKEDLY EARLY TO BE SOME STUPID STATIONMASTER (WHEN I CAN BE BONDING HAVING AN AVATAR MOMENT WITH MY KUTE AND FUN AND ADORABLE AND EVERYTHING THAT THE THING IS NOT, JUNIOR CLASS) FOR SEAREGATTA. LIKE HELLO YOU DO NOT NEED TO CALL EVERY SINGLE SHIT DOWN JUST FOR ONE STATION DID IT CROSS ANYONE'S MIND THAT IT'S A COMPLETELY INEFFICIENT HANDLING OF MANPOWER AND ALLOCATION OF RESOURCES? EVEN SOMEONE WHO FAILS ECONS CONSTANTLY CAN UNDERSTAND THIS POINT, I WONDER WHY ALL THE SMART PEOPLE IN SAIKANG DONT UNDERSTAND IT. AND EVERYTIME THERES AN EVENT I GET CALLED DOWN THERE'S ALWAYS A COMPLAIN THAT THERES LACK OF MANPOWER BUT HELLO HELLO THE TRUTH IS ALWAYS THERE IS ENOUGH!!! I'M NOT EVEN FEELING VERY WELL IN THE FIRST PLACE AND I HAVE TO REACH THE PLACE AT 6AM TMR, HELL NO IM NOT GOING TO REACH AT 6. ANYWAY I CANT CAUSE BUSES ONLY START OPERATION AT 530. AND THEN IF I GO THERE AT 6 REACH ECP AT 630/645 I BET WITH EVERYONE 1MILLION BUCKS THAT I HAVE TO STONE AND TALK TO PEOPLE THAT I CANNOT CONNECT FOR LIKE 2HOURS. GO DO THE MATH. AND WHEN I SAY IM GONNA BE LATE YOU GET ANGRY. THINK OMG!!! I HATE THIS SHIT DAMNIT I REALLY FEEL LIKE QUITTING BUT THE THOUGHT OF EVEN ASKING SOMEONE TO EXECUTE MY LEAVE IRKS ME ALREADY. LIKE WHAT THE HELL WHY DID I EVEN JOIN THIS CRAP IN THE FIRST PLACE AND I AM BY FAR THE ONLY ONE THAT FEELS SO VIOLENTLY. SOMETIMES COMPARING BETWEEN LEADERSHIP BODIES, THIS COUNCIL ISNT THAT MUCH BETTER, AS EVERYONE INSIDE CLAIMS IT TO BE. SOMETIMES I WONDER WHO ACTUALLY HAS THE FLEXIBILITY. COMEON PEOPLE THINK HARDER STOP BEING AKIN TO A LOG STUBBORN HEADED AND JUST SO RIGID. AND YAP. THE THING IS EVERYTHING LIKE YAPPING.

MY THROAT IS FREAKING KILLING ME.

2010-02-03T23:08:00.001+08:00

AS MUCH AS I LIKE MY SEXY MANLY DEEP VOICE,

(the voice breaking parts arent so favoured)

I'D LIKE TO HAVE MY ORIGINAL LOVELY VOICE BACK PLEASE

the school is like woahhhhhhh so messy now

everyone is everywhere

2010-02-02T23:21:00.002+08:00

ORIENTATION WAS EVERY SINGLE BIT ENJOYABLE AND I COUNT MY BLESSINGS TO HAVE SUCH BRILLIANT OGL COMPANIONS AND NICE FRESHMENNNNNN AND OF COURSE A FANTABULOUS OGGGG (THAT ROSE SO HIGH FROM THE ASHES!!!) I AM BURNT AND MY SKIN FEELS SO DRY YET OILY (DID I SPELL IT CORRECTLY OH NO). MEETING JUNIOR CLASS TMR, EXCITED EXCITED I HOPE SNR-JNR BONDING CAN BE ICHIBAN THIS YEARRRR. NOW GO BACK TO MUGGING STUDYING AND A LEVELS COMING OMG VOLUX KOPE MY ENERGY!!! HAHHAH DAMN HIGH NOW MIND CAFE JTS JUST NOW WAS LIKE WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE PYCCALO LOWLOWLOWLOWWWWW. DO THE BANMIAN CHEER!!!! OKOK TOO ENTHU, TOO TIRED, I'M GOING CRAZY. CRAZY. CRAZY.

FROM THE ONE AND ONLY.

WHO STILL HAS WATER STUCK IN HER EAR (ALMOST DEAF IN ONE EAR) : CAUSE OF STUPID TOMAS WHO SPLASHED A WHOLE BUCKET OF WATER RIGHT IN MY EAR, WAHLAO WHY HIS AIMING SO HORRID.

HAHHAH AND I GOTTA SAY, WINNING CUTEST OGL WITH MY HOARSE (VERY SEXAYE I KNOW YOU WANT IT) VOICE WAS EPICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC.

OMG I SCREAM SO MUCH, I GOT HEADACHE NOW.

2010-01-31T17:39:00.004+08:00

WHEN THE WORLD SHOUTS,

YOU HOLLER.

i like my sexy voice hahha

and im feeling lucky, to have a quite fun og

now, cmon everybody do the MY cheer with me

AND I SO SHOULD HAVE BEEN TO THAT BLG CONCERT

COULDA, WOULDA, SHOULDA

2010-01-27T22:30:00.003+08:00

Where does the time go,

between hello and goodbye?

2010-01-21T20:53:00.000+08:00

IT SHOULD COME RIGHT NOW NA NA NA NA

i'm gonna be a bad girl gone goooood

2010-01-17T20:17:00.002+08:00

If you're a bird, i'm a bird.

" I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough."

2010-01-17T20:10:00.002+08:00

If looks could kill, what would you do?

She was a child that wrote letters to santa every year;

She was a child who made a wish at every star she saw.

She was a child who rubbed at every teapot looking for a genie

She was a child who played with chopsticks as if they were magic wands

She was a child who threw a coin at any pond;

and she really believed they would all come true

She was a child who lived by her wishes.

She was, once that naive.

I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING CNY WORTHY.

2010-01-10T00:14:00.002+08:00

the shadow of you, cooking for two

you're my honey bee

went back sn today and the new campus isnt half that bad. except for the fact that it looks like a police dog training ground and have weird signs that number the staircases. and oh, its like a multiple container block maze. oh wells at least it wasnt as bad as i imagined it to be, i just hope sn after prime will be cool as before, not losing its nostalgia!

2010-01-07T22:23:00.002+08:00

C'MON C'MON C'MON

BRING IT ON

but please, moderately, i still wanna be able to smile after

2010-01-06T23:54:00.002+08:00

haemunni, we secretly have a war. today you won hogging. you hogged right.

but after this week, it's mine mine mine

we, should all stop being driftwoods and let time fly through our hands.

so many people to meet, too slow for time. the holidays are slowly inching towards its coffin, but honestly starting school again isn't such a big deal for me, except for the part where i have to crawl up from bed in the wee hours of the morning.

summing up my holiday: uneventful.

and for the record, i thought of reasons why 2010 would be fab.

1. though shopping in spore is bleh as compared to everywhere else in the world, new malls = brilliant

2. IR (new places=cool)

3. concerts to go for, many many many

4. fastfwding to the end, i will be a free bird. i can do whatever i want,go wherever i want

5. there is prom to make up for the last

6. movies i wanna watch are coming out: last song, dear john, lovely bones

but still, it came too fast, and the big fat A-sth is enough kill all the pros of 2010.

let's just not dwell on that.

it's time to be happy!

2010-01-06T08:22:00.002+08:00

you said: "bloody hell, because of you"

i would've said

"dad, take me someplace nice"

to be with the clouds in the sky

to see our land from up high

to party away on foreign earth

so, doesn't that count for anything?

2010-01-06T08:00:00.000+08:00

so the men up above, listen up

i dream the unreachable

i wish for the unattainable

i hope for the impossible

nothing comes without hardwork, but please, some luck will do?

2010-01-03T11:50:00.001+08:00

Broken Strings

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

2010-01-03T11:38:00.007+08:00

There's no room for tears

to keep things short, i'd like to hang on to that really small glimmer of hope. when all things are bleak, prep yourself for concede.

2010-01-01T22:19:00.002+08:00

the woman who can't be moved

but god, i know i have to

i like where i am right now.

or rather what i was last year, i don't like the supposedly looming me

so, happy 2010! wish it would be 10 out of 10-ly perfect

2009 was brilliant because it was very little books, very much play; i feel my intellect going down already

2010, much foolosophy, i'm assuming.

2009-12-29T21:36:00.007+08:00

de·mor·al·ize (d-môr-lz, -mr-)

tr.v. de·mor·al·ized,de·mor·al·iz·ing,de·mor·al·iz·es
1. To undermine the confidence or morale of; dishearten
2. To put into disorder; confuse.
3. To debase the morals of; corrupt.

spin me around in this whirlwind of life, cause this predicament i'm in, i'm not liking it one single bit. Yet, somehow there's nothing i can do; maybe i can but i don't know how. How exactly does the men up above decide whether it's worth for you to get what you want?

I tell you, this life ahead, is rather bleak.

2009-12-27T23:43:00.003+08:00

HIT IT BABY, CAUSE SEZAIRI'S KING

AND NOTHING IS BETTER THAN THAT

okay not so extreme drama/love, but yeah i thought otherwise about the win but the musician rocked the house!!! shocking, i can hear everyone swearing now

but nothing ain't better than a dark horse risin from the ashes

2009-12-25T14:22:00.004+08:00

so embellish my life a little bit

i had wanted to do a features something

but now i don't feel like saying anything anymore

life is such a whirlwind mystery

some things are so weirdly incomprehensible, it makes you wickedly jealous.

sherlock holmes was a kickass movie

christmas is so duh right now, only tissues are white, the grass outside is still very much green.

2009-12-20T00:06:00.003+08:00

going away away away

for the weekend (only)

my escapade (:

avatar on friday, it was a piece of boring shitz.

2009-12-17T14:47:00.003+08:00

“How to commit the perfect murder was an old game in heaven. I always chose the icicle: the weapon melts away.”

ah, this shithole. i need to grab my bags and run away, even if it's just for a short while. so pack up, bring me the weekend, cause i've been waiting all week; soullessly.

i need the smile that can light up this whole town

oh, cheesecake.

2009-12-17T00:02:00.004+08:00

the weekend's almost here,
it makes me happy

i never wanted to be a hermit more
even the gold rings turned silver

2009-12-15T14:08:00.001+08:00

i can't wait for the weekend.

2009-12-11T10:39:00.002+08:00

genuinely waking up late: blessing in disguise.

cmon i was so freaking tired last night i seriously didnt wanna wake up early to have econs remedial, it wouldve killed me. i mean i got home like at one, got to bed only at three, though i didnt plan on skipping remedial, im so gladdddd i forgot to set the alarm(: (:

ah ACFF and post ACFF@supperclub was kinda fun. so much for fretting over wardrobe for weeks, in the end i think grace & i gave up totally and went from dressy to everyday.

ah this december, seriously packed packed packed.

so much to do, so little time.

& i wanna drive.

2009-12-10T14:11:00.006+08:00

아이리스

adrenaline pumping

heartbeat increasing

six more episodes.

actually, i think i should be doing other things, but seriously, this is worth it.

treat for my eye.

2009-12-08T23:12:00.004+08:00

"Did he say , "I love her?" "I love her?" "I love her?""

oh, i'm bored because there ain't no more gossip girl for me to watch, i'm not gonna start on season three anytime soon, it;s gonna end too quickly, and you know, i hate waiting.

i've got a wardrobe crisis and i seriously feel like taking it easy, who cares what other people wear. being under dressed's nothing right? except maybe it's equivalent to social suicide. yeah that's all

and sezairi's through to the finals!! for a moment there i was so afraid that tabby got it, i wouldve been crushed. not that sezairi's kute&mesmerising or anything, just that the times that ive actually gotten down to watching si, he's made an impression. and it lasts. maybe going to the finals wouldn't be a bad idea (:

2009-12-07T22:14:00.001+08:00

Had a flashback, and i laugh.

I was smitten, blind and stupid.

Being head over heels, so last year.

2009-12-07T10:59:00.002+08:00

i miss the old days

really really really

this year, shouldn't end

2009-12-04T23:49:00.002+08:00

wrapped up

so, let yourself loose

put the record on, because there's gonna be a wild party. holidays equate fun, and that's what you do when december calls.

i wish that much is true

2009-12-04T00:07:00.001+08:00

three one three

or some say, fruitless

2009-12-02T15:25:00.002+08:00

bravery sometimes is overated.

now, i'd like more harps and flutes strumming my tune, while i heel down a street, sometimes heaven, sometimes hell. or perhaps try pretending im mona lisa, smile faintly and watch france unfold.
i don't like the sound of two.
say hello to a bitch in descend.

2009-12-01T18:35:00.005+08:00

"freedom, baby!!"
not mine, but still :)
it's good to see some liberation --something to look forward to

ahh, slugging in my bed all afternoon after training, my yellow tee's moist with sweat, turned on the fan and oh i hear the keys ringing.
gossip girl is delicious, bring me some america

2009-11-30T09:55:00.002+08:00

"there's a traitor in your midst"
hah the sentence popped right into my head once i woke up
early morning post, havent brushed my teeth, washed my face, just lying in bed, it feels good to have technology revolving around you in your bed.
adding to that, ive got my gossip girl plugged in(:
hello, serena.

2009-11-29T03:07:00.000+08:00

Well today(or yesterday), rather eventful

Got outta the house, got into an accident, swivel and bang, the whole left side of the car’s scratched and bent –momma’s door kinda flipped out, rain can seep in, the car will be gone for a week for repair? But basically it can still move, so that’s ok. Lucky for us we’re unscathed, for a while there I thought the earrings had sth to do with it; but that’s too much superstition

Then off to sintex despite damage, got a laptop, should I say, finally?

And we caught fantastic mr fox, and it was surprisingly fantastic (: been catching quite a lotta movies recently huh, running outta good ones already haha

Ok then headed down to eastcoast for some claypot fun, food at 1030, wow, does brilliantly to a diet huh. Rice and chicken and soup for supper. Oh and we decided to sit and chitchat cause it was too early for home, headed down to the airport went from terminal to terminal to look for yakun, drank milk tea at like what 12?

Well kudos to today, but im not eating tmr, to make up for sinful today. Fun and late nights out rock, thank god for cars.

I hear December calling
wake me up when 2010 ends

2009-11-28T13:53:00.002+08:00

saturdays at home painting nails, not a bad idea :D

and momma found my earring, i'm totally on a roll, cmon i totally predicted that. glad it chose to turn up nowww:D

well, going to watch fantastic mrfox at plaza later, hopefully its more fantastic than i think it is, im not so into the animation play dough thingy. but oh wells, there arent many other movies to catch.

and ugh, that zara top is so exclusive, im rather mad. knew i would regret it. went down to all the zara outlets in orchard ytd, and mygawd, it has to only exist in vivo, sucker. and i dont have the article number, so i guess no reservations for me. AND can tracyeinny please send me my jacket, hello, no replies to my emails, no mail, no refund. what is this huh. call yourself reputable, there's some explaining you guys gotta do huh.

but right now, gossip girl. (:

2009-11-26T22:45:00.004+08:00

if you stayed long enough,

you'd see it move

new computer please (:

2009-11-25T23:59:00.003+08:00

what's a party without music, dance, food, drinks, cards and lights

i've had quite much of fun tonight

lotsa things to smile at;

training was sorta tough

sailors' planned "vj party", well nsrcc was a dream --classy(:

so in the end i didn't go back to sn. though its the last day that it's gonna be in the "old" campus. i slept in and watched gossipgirl instead. i'm feeling so guilty about it, photos on facebook doesnt help much. ughhh i wish i wasn't such a piggg.

2009-11-24T23:09:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wondered how mentally retarded people work?

I mean it's crazy, both ways, for us and to us. I think of what their basis of feelings is set on. I mean we see that they lack shame & embarrassment? But yet they know how to operate so normally like any of us, for example taking public transport. It just amazes me how they know their way around. It's mind boggling, but maybe we're the crazy ones. Maybe they're perfectly normal, they are just stuck in all other abnormal forms of humanity.

okay, i think i think too much sometimes.

don't fly too high now, cause i still wanna see you

it's high time you appeared, dontcha think.

2009-11-23T23:05:00.002+08:00

there's never a right time to say goodbye

and that's where it went,

in a place called here

2009-11-21T18:19:00.003+08:00

some things just cannot be understood.

i lost my favourite pair of earring that meant the world to me. or least cause i thought it held so much more. call it supersistion but some things, it's better to believe. it gives some glimmer of hope in this mundane life. and the worst part is, i dropped it at home, but i just can't seem to find it anywhere, ive been searching for days, i even cleaned my side of the room for it. it burns me to think what it means to have lost it, it's completely troubling.

i guess, it'll surface, when it wants to.

saturdays, are so not cool like this.

i'm in the mood to swear.

2009-11-20T11:44:00.010+08:00

2012 in 8 1/2

lethargic.

stab, wink, grab at it

pass the mike and she's kissin', hittin', fittin'

cause she takes her toys out and

Cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots at her

i'm hatin' what i'm seein'

and this is one less lonely girl

2009-11-18T21:14:00.002+08:00

boredddddd
just finished with singapore idol
it was the worst shit ever, only suzairi was good
virtual insanity huh(:

today's Alvl econs was horrible apparently, it's like everything's signalling me to drop econs. maybe i should, it seems like the wiser choice huh. ugh means ive gotta run through it with my dad. which sucks, its the last thing i wanna do.

yesterday's ogl interview was bleh, i was so unenthu&tired its like an ultimately high chance i'd be kicked out mygawddd. and to top it off, after training i was dying with all the things in my hands and that stupid horrible old busker had to come irritate me with his shit happybirthday song humming. seriously who CANT ~~sing~~ hum a happy birthday song right. there ive found one for you

someone should really set busking auditions, he's really do lotsa noise pollution almost every night.

birthday dinner tomorrow night, i dont know what to wearrrrr

2009-11-16T21:40:00.004+08:00

so imma a rebellious child

this evening im ultimate pms

there's a reason why mom starts with m

it's an ultimately cold night, im freezing, jacket on, blanket wrapped. and the insulation's not enough to keep my hands from numbing. okay maybe cause i didnt like wear gloves or anything, but that's just extreme yeah. gah the water's icy.

___________

Cause this much is true;

sudden realisation that today is the sixteenth of november. rumour has it, stnicks will be gone today.

The place that made me, the place of many beautiful memories, the place where i met my lifetime of joys.

Today, that place so wonderful, will be gone with destruction; sacrifices of bringing something new --to nurture the future generations in

So we all learn to let go. So we all learn to see change. So we all learn to be understanding.

So we will not let our beautiful memories turn to dust.

So we let the seven pianos play, even as the cranes come crashing down.

Cause this much is true,

goodbye my love, goodbye my home.

2009-11-15T22:25:00.003+08:00

scrap the previous post, it was rubbish, i had to delete it

i regret not running, i feel fat

i hate myself for being lazy

and i feel kinda empty.

and there's school tomorrow; not nicee.

so who let the cat out?

prints on my dad's filthy car is major yucks

i. hate. hate. cats.

shudders.

2009-11-15T00:07:00.002+08:00

i like every bit about talking about my childhood

good memories of sweet innocence :)))

i'm proud of you, boy

we'll miss you

i'm beat.

2009-11-13T11:07:00.005+08:00

i saw his face

not once, but many times. i was even able to conjure the images

i don't think this is the first time i've had a dream like this

it seems familiar

the touch, the smile, the bliss...

the natural rhythm of our bodies

and i wake up to read a perfect love story

which i would yearn to have

the dream, is it real?

it has every basis to be.

2009-11-12T22:23:00.005+08:00

03:35:00

Anthropology is a weird thing.

I watch people pass, i wonder who'll be my driver today. In front are two empty buses, i feel like getting on and prepare for the engine to roar.

A familiar place, no familiar faces, my shoulders slump a little.

The drizzle continues and i slide next to the window; a foreign song plays.

_____________________

12:55:00

In this age, with raging hormones, languid loves, ravishing absurdity;

you wonder why you're really here.

I want my book.

_____________________

09:48:00

So, fronts are put on because? Masks are existent, because?

She trails behind me silently. It isn't awkward, i don't feel the need to think of conversations.

I think about what she wrote, and constantly writes; i wonder if i should be doing anything to release her of her loneliness. Are we seriously close? Or actually all that was just a mere expression, and she isn't secretly depressive?

Recently there's been just so much of similar encounters --crocodile faces, slowly unmasked to sad interiors and depressive natures.

Maybe i'm like that too.

Maybe, having alone time in a sea of strangers, watching the world speed pass is the ultimately true enjoyment

Maybe, the earth's oceans are actually tears shed by everyone, every day.

i'm wasting my life away,

but i'm betting the hell i'm not going to do anything about it.

so much for a day.

2009-11-12T12:19:00.003+08:00

skeptical, i know

spider crabs crawling at your legs

strolls down the beach

a blanket of stars above you

and sweet kisses as the waves wash up to you

ideal summer ~~fling~~ relationship (:

sweet like sugarh Y

off to a movie, then training.

it's a thursday.

2009-11-11T23:21:00.002+08:00

superficial, i know

today was a good good day Y

did you know

there's a difference between

"altogether" and "all together"?

i googled it (:

run-on lines

because i forgot what i wanted to quote. as usual. as fast as my inspiration comes, as fast as it goes

retreating to the last song now(:

2009-11-09T22:51:00.001+08:00

leave the film till later

cause the water's better

restart later

2009-11-09T20:37:00.003+08:00

release me in my reverie

unwind me

i've had my share of crying

it was a great movie

i loved today & i loved the company

im gonna miss the times

cause i see her crocodile smile

which thunderbird's hounding her

2009-11-08T13:02:00.002+08:00

i totally loved yesterday

i've had fun

like flowers

:)))))))))))))

i'm wildly merry

2009-11-06T00:31:00.002+08:00

being crazy is wilful
it's pointless

so continue life like this
whatever happens will be a bonus

im taking that picture down
it's all about reading between the lines

i said; hello fever, whatcha doin with that knife

2009-11-05T21:56:00.003+08:00

i think i
strive on criticisms
i think i
strive on compliments
i think i
have a solution to moan
i think i
have a horrible, not on task solution

i could be running somewhere new

lame, but nevertheless, entertaining (:

2009-11-02T11:55:00.002+08:00

ah, what a weird monday
finishing up my last bit of quiche, i haven't eaten all morning, feeling a tad bit sick
i've created quite a pile of peas and carrots on my plate, it looks ironic that i called for a 'lotsa veggie' quiche.
Being alone in starbucks in an empty ion feels so duper weird

i've got three more hours to kill before heading back to pick my sister up
shopping has been so unsuccessful i'm tired and bored. Thank god for wifi.

pack me up on a plane
so i've got every reason to run away

2009-11-01T21:46:00.002+08:00

i will not eat so many shortbread fingers in one day

i will have fun while my parents are away

i will make sure my internet usage will go beyond 2330

release me, see the vile thing in me

the thoughts running through his head

2009-10-31T14:07:00.000+08:00

it's going down down down

it's a saturday
time passes so fast
2hours to tuition(:

2009-10-28T10:22:00.002+08:00

i think i wanted to post something along these lines last night

"blissful day, ive had fun

and im all smiles now"

but well no, not that much now.

2009-10-25T00:17:00.006+08:00

what i've been doing the whole week.

eating.

alot.

{colorgenics}

click it

i cant find any other way to link this without putting the whole chunk of result here

2009-10-23T09:14:00.002+08:00

ugh had a bad night

i dreamt that everyone was telling me how lousy i am.

there's school soon,

and i dont wanna get off this chair.

2009-10-22T23:43:00.002+08:00

overrated. everything.

"i wanna be that shoulder"
maybe, some other day

ridicule.
what's going on and on.

ridiculous.

2009-10-21T00:17:00.002+08:00

oooh it's twelve and im still on quite a roll!

why arent you damn selective

quite detestable.

absolutely temperamental.

it's like, immma entertainment machine.

so pretty boy....?

yeah dissed.

now ten million fireflies.

2009-10-19T12:08:00.001+08:00

it's time to rock the night

happy four hundredth.

2009-10-17T17:11:00.000+08:00

it's a saturday
nothing more, nothing less

i know how ill read i am
so i oughta buck up.
that isnt anything to laugh about, right?

define humour,
cause that's what i'm looking for

2009-10-15T23:46:00.003+08:00

how bad can a day be
it's a thousand shots through my heart
and tears arent enough to heal

how bad can a week be
it's seven times more excruciating
there's just too much to cry about

lifeless.
i wish things were better.

2009-10-14T13:27:00.002+08:00

welll i could've posted last night, everything of a different tone.
but life didnt make that to be. my dad made my already lousy day worse yesterday. he did the most drastic thing and i cant comprehend where he's coming from. it's SO ABSURD. horribly. i hate him and everyone else. i mean. this is 2009 not 1999, internet IS NOT meant for research only. i mean WHO BLOCKS BLOGGER, YOUTUBE, FACEBOOK AND WHATEVER SHIT NOT. youths nowadays have LIVES, like to go on facebook. and in case you didnt know, it's called SOCIALISING. i dont know if you have any friends at all, but i think all your friends secretly hate you. especially all those that you work with. come on, you're not one bit likeable. the reason why im even calling you dad, a supposedly affectionate name, it's because you are my father. and right now, i keep thinking what i might have done wrong in my previous life to deserve parents like these.
i'm gonna have to issue a FAIL report card to my parents. i think a U grade would be too lenient a grade. they need to be at a grade range approaching zero. they oughta know where they stand. too bad, the truth is ugly, the truth hurts. and im not being the least bit mean.

it isn't just anger and pain
it's the pity that i feel for myself for being so absolutely pathetic.
someone, please tell me what is there to love in this home, besides my sister
you cant get nothing out of these folks
no love, no life, no freedom of choice
things doesnt go by feelings, it goes by logic
and my life, just doesnt work this way.
that is why i just cant belong. in where im supposed to most
right now, the both of you, have failed your parent report cards damn badly.

if only you could turn things around.
how much i yearn
is how much you can never give
because you wont and you dont know how.